Wolves in Sheep's Clothes...

I probably should have wrote this blog a long time ago...
But silly me didn't realize just how transpired events (even until today) were shaping yet another lesson learned.

Who has ever heard the saying a 'nigga' is a 'nigga' (and excuse my language, but I just need to get my point across)? I can truly say I really thought I understood fully and completely well what this statement meant, but CLEARLY I hadn't.

Okay, let me lay it out here for yall (and this is for men and women both):
Who has ever thought that talking to or dating someone hinged on set criteria and prerequisites such as, status, beit monetary or reputation, educational background, moral standing, and/or career choice/path? I must willingly admit, that I was a firm believer in the standards I had set for the filter I used to weed out the men from the boys, the losers from the winners, the keepers from the keep it pushin'. I thought that with my trusty list of credentials, I would never come across those 'niggas' that KeKe 'nem from up the street were always dealing with. Ha ha ha, but oh contrare! Just like in the justice realm it is said 'innocent until proven guilty'...I was 'naive (borderline dumb) until proven wrong.'

As I said, I had a set list of my standards that I called myself never settling for so that I could never be hurt: The list is as follows:
1.) College Degree --> Bachelor's minimum but Graduate degree would be even better
2.) Nice car and House (or a desire to own a home within the next 3-5 years)
3.) Career not a job (there is a huge difference) or furthering his degree at the time
4.) No children preferably
5.) Real relationship with the Lord/able to be a spiritual partner

Now, those were my 5 basic bare minimum requirements as to what I was looking for in a mate (more here and there were added, however these were consistent). Using these rules, I actually dated 3-4 men who fit all of them. Here's where the rude awakening comes...they were all 'niggas'! Two were PhD students and were on track to making six figures! One was succesfully employed after receiving a graduate degree with a nice home. All of them claimed to have a right relationship with the Lord. And none of them had children. I thought surely that my Adam was somewhere in there! WRONG!! These turned out to be some of the grimiest, most trifling men I have encountered in my life. A mangy dog ridden with fleas is compliment compared to their kind! They lied, cheated, and manipulated all with the most innocent of smiles on their faces. So what is my point?

Don't think that just because you seemed to have found someone with high moral standing along with the career, education, and status to back it up that he (or she) is not a 'nigga.' Transcripts, paygrade, and the cost of a car have nothing to do with the make of a man (or woman). We as people like to pretend like it does, but it truly is mutually exclusive. A person is going to be who he or she wants to be regardless of his/her position in life. It may be fair to say that a person of good character with goals and determination, may live a life with such perks as a nice career, car, and house. But the converse just is not true whatsoever. It is highly inaccurate to say a person with a nice career, car, and house is probably of good moral character. And that is where the fallacy within my naive, young mind resided for almost 23 years.

For all of you reading this, take stock in this: Wolves in Sheep's Clothing may not be that hard to spot if you wise up and look at the way you are looking at things yourself. All wolves don't smell like wolves or hang with wolves. Just like all 'niggas' don't look like 'niggas' or neccesarily hang with them. I thought there was an easy way to make sure that I would never surround myself with a wolf, when actuality I was only increasing my chances of encountering wolves in sheep's clothing. So, re-evaluate how you choose your potential mates. Do not make it about credentials or prerequisites...you are not interviewing for a job. Instead, think about the very thing that cannot be bounded or held by a college degree or bought with money...LOVE. I am not saying that you shouldn't be concerned with the credentials I named earlier, clearly we all need security in knowing that our mate could provide for us; however, those cannot be the sole basis we use to find our mate. That is left up to God our maker and the love we decide to share with one another.